a saturday stroll through harlem

After a slow morning of heavy eating, finishing a wonderful book and catching up on cartoons, I decided to go for a stroll on the sunny day that was yesterday. I set a goal to visit the Morris-Jumel Mansion which is a bit north from me. On the way I came across Coogan’s Bluff which apart from it’s homeless camps and beautiful nature trail, used to overlook the old Polo Grounds where all of New York’s sports teams used to play.

This trail seemed to go on forever so thankfully I found a large rock which led to a park  (which I will definitely soon be visiting to relax despite weird looks I got from locals who saw me emerge from the forest). I found my way to the Jumel Terrace Historic District which has a wide array of beautiful houses that you just can not see anyplace else in New York.
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the harlem yuppie makes a pillow

So on a lovely Friday evening where I could have been mingling and having a cocktail (or two or three), instead I was doing crafts! I have officially out-gayed myself. It was so much fun and I think it turned out pretty well for my first time making my own pillow. I was going to go to the fabric store in Tribeca that I have gone to in the past but it was closed! Luckily there was a perfectly nice fabric store/cafe next door called Jem Fabric Warehouse where after perusing through stacks of stuff enormous stacks of stuff I located a lovely orange [insert fabric name that sales person told you but don’t remember] and two bags of fluffy stuffing.

I gathered my materials as well as my newly acquired (though quite old) sewing machine and tackle box (filled with thread).


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its friday: nyc etiquette

Through my Dear New Yorker Twitter investigation, I learned that we New Yorkers are frequently annoyed with many things that other New Yorkers do. I am sitting on the train with a vagrant of some sort. He may be homeless, you can never tell these days. Damned recession.

Since Fulton Street (on the A) he has personally harassed this woman next to me on her lighter skin and complained about the many problems the black community faces. This we can agree on but must he yell about it? It’s so…rude.

I was able to give a reassuring smile and “he’s crazy” shrug to her and my fellow subway riders. What are we to do in this situation? Some would say to politely ask the man to stop. Those people are nuts. There is always a big difference between idealism and reality. Alas, all we should do here is reassure the target of homeless (or not?) attacks and your surrounding riders that you are all in agreement that this person is absolutely bananas.

You see, even if they know that, these attacks can enter a person’s mind and make them doubt themselves. This could lead to depression, decreased productivity and feelings of anarchy. So you owe it to their health, their job and the US government to say “Hey lady, I like your skin and hair and there is no reason this man should not hopefully be arrested and thrown in debtors prison for the remainder of his life”. Get it? Got it? Good.

Till next New York folly,
The Harlem Yuppie

dear new yorker #8

Nothing like some new consistent DNYers. Love the thoughts and letters this week.

I feel like I am knowing and seeing more of New York than I ever could by myself. We are becoming each others eyes and ears.


Dear New Yorker: You are NOT smelling fresh. Old Spice meet New Yorker. New Yorker meet Old Spice. #DearNY

Dear New Yorker: The fact that you’re five and peeing on that building is too cute.

Dear New Yorker: Where are you getting all this stuff that you sell on the street? Computer monitors, lamps…what’s next?

Dear New Yorker: You’re having a fight on the Staten Island Ferry and its not helping you or anyone for that matter. #hotmess

Dear New Yorker: Crossword puzzle in pen. Baller. I hope its a hard one so ill stay impressed. 🙂

Dear New Yorker: I hope you love that book and I’m sorry my friends called you a bitch

Dear New Yorker: you’re 10 and reading the paper? Awesome. It is AM New York but hey, kudos anyway.

Dear New Yorker: I really hope you’re Aneesa from Real World back to New York cuz you are awesome!


Dear new yorker, I realize your job at Duane Reade sucks, but I’m probably the nicest customer you’ll have today, so be POLITE.

Dear new yorker, 1995 called. They were asking for their sense of humor back.

Dear new yorker, I see london, I see france.. I am.. Not in your bedroom, so put some clothes on.. #dearny


Dear 16-17yr old NYer, that look was impressively intense, but I am entirely too old for you.


Dear New Yorker: please watch the swing of your arms as I follow you up the stairs. This is the 2nd time you’ve hit my head.

Dear NYer: I opened the door for you so you wouldnt have to get your keys. If you held it open for me doesn’t (cont) http://tl.gd/2e9882


Dear New Yorker: Bringing an antique chandelier with light bulbs still attached onto the bus is not the wisest idea. #DearNY

Dear New Yorker: When bringing said chandelier onto bus, please make sure you ACTUALLY HAVE THE BUS FARE!


Dear new yorkers: driving like a jerk in maine is not winning you any fans. Oh, and go soxs!


#DearNY, I u’stand that the job market is rough. But when u remember that I’m brilliant + then hire me, we’ll turn it around together. Kthx!


#DearNY i’m going to need all the cab/taxi drivers to go take defensive driving courses


Dear New Yorkers in a little time, heavy rains will hit your area, grab an umbrella or go inside within the hour. You have been warned.


New Post: Dear New Yorker, #4 (http://theallwhitebed.tumblr.com/post/817927367/dear-new-yorker-4)


Dear New Yorkers – Will be hosting our first BBQ club event this weekend. Details: http://is.gd/dqE9P


Dear New Yorkers: There is no “R” sound in croissant. None. Thank you.